Let Me Introduce You
I sat in the restaurant section of the delicatessen with a cappuccino in front of me as a slow heat crept through my body, starting somewhere behind my face, spreading through my scalp and down into my torso. It increased in intensity while a roaring started in my ears. I was sitting across from my friend Jenny and my mother, and I couldn’t hear what they were saying with the roaring ears and extreme heat that was taking over my body with a fierceness that had me gasping.
“Something terrible is happening,” I managed to say. “My blood is boiling, and I need a doctor.”
I was starting to sweat and felt rather panicky.
“Oh honey,” said my friend, “Is this your first hot flush? Come with me!”
And with that, she whipped me to the back of the shop and into the walk-in fridge, where, surrounded by wheels of cheeses and salamis, I met the Perry for the first time. That is, the hell of the perimenopausal hot flush.
I knew about hot flushes, but what I didn’t know is that you could feel that bad when you have them. I knew about menopause, but I didn’t know that it was preceded by years of perimenopause and just what that all meant.
Most of all, I couldn’t figure out why no one had told me. Why had I only heard about it in passing? And how come we can put men on the moon, but we still have this inadequate and completely underwhelming approach to a condition that is debilitating?
“Welcome to middle age,” I was told by countless men and women alike, as if that was a done deal, and it was my fate to suffer since that was the life of a woman in her late forties.
I went to my gynae who gave me a prescription for sleeping tablets in case I needed them. That was it – “You are starting menopause, take sleeping tablets if you need them.”
I came to terms with brain fog, feeling like I was 105 years old, hot flushes, lethargy, excess energy, ringing ears – this all in the first hour of the day.
But we adapt, us amazing women, and I learnt to function like millions around the globe who live with these challenges. Ready with layers of clothes to strip down to almost undies and then pile it back on again. I adapted, but grumpily.
Then I met Helena, and everything changed.
Helena came to our retreat centre on a private solo retreat, cloaked in a deep sadness. During her Reiki session she shared how she had severe health problems, and she was taking a break on a solo retreat to try to regain some of her energy and well-being. Work was becoming increasingly challenging for her. They were becoming impatient and trying to push her out of her role that she had held for many years. Her sleep was affected, and her joints ached. She had no energy and struggled to concentrate. Her doctors could not figure out what was wrong with her.
What would I tell my 18-year-old self?
“Menopause is inevitable, suffering is not.”
You guessed it – she was in menopause, and she had no idea. Apparently, her doctors also could not work this out from her symptoms, even though her age (55) might have been a clue as to where to look!
This was a massive wake-up call for me, a blaring alarm, and a red flag to a bull. I was outraged for Helena, that she should be so poorly served by the very people who should know better.
I was also outraged when Maria (52) revealed during a therapy session that she didn’t sleep through the night anymore, but she was experimenting with herbal remedies because she was struggling with her menopause symptoms and needed sleep to function again. She had been to the doctor, who said nothing about HRT, diet or exercise but suggested she adapt to getting old and take some sleeping tablets.
Elizabeth (48), who lives alone, took herself to the ER believing she was dying because she was having these ‘attacks’. They worked out she was having hot flushes, and an amused young nurse suggested she go home and get some rest as she was overwrought.
All of these examples are what happens in the world of the Old Menopause, which is old news and thankfully has been replaced.
The New Menopause world is one where every child knows what it is, but there is no need for anyone to feel bad while it happens.
In this new world the information is available to all women (and men) around perimenopause (starting at age 35) and menopause, what to do to minimize symptoms and how to live in this best part of life in the best shape, ever.
I am very grateful to Helena, because without her I would have not been galvanized into finding out more, to reaching for better solutions for myself and all the ladies who say, “Help me, I don’t understand what is happening to me.”
💪 Success Story: Today Helena is on HRT and is feeling strong and healthy with her new work-out routine and eating plan. She swapped the doctors stuck in the dark ages with up-to-date health care professionals, and she has just been promoted at work.
Let’s continue the conversation, bringing menopause into our everyday language as we treat it like the normal stage it is.
And in case you have continued to read this far just to settle a nagging point from the start of this letter – do not fear, deli owners, menopausal women will not be flocking to your walk-in fridges! My friend Jenny managed the restaurant, and we did all the right things to maintain hygiene standards… although I really did want to lie down with the cheeses for extra cooling! 😂
Coming up:
How to Menopause
The Menopaused Club
Food info for crushing the bloat
Exercise plans made for you
Recipes
What is HRT?
What to ask your doctor
… and more!
Go here for more help and info:
Dr. Jenn Huber RD ND
https://www.instagram.com/menopause.nutritionist/
Mary Claire Haver, MD
https://www.instagram.com/drmaryclaire/
What the Menopause?! – Community
https://www.instagram.com/whatthemenopause/
Dr Louise Newson
